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Based upon "Resonant Excitation Of Sexual Orgasms - Tao Of Love Coupling"
by Newman K. Lin, Ph.D., PE, a bridge between the Eastern Taoism Sexuality and the Western Engineering Science.==> [ORDERING THE BOOK]< =>[Why?]
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Case Study - Sexual Fantasy, Marriage Life and Sexual Orgasm.
Reader: 8/30/1999>
DR.LIN
PLEASE HELP!! MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 5 YEARS.
WE'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED VERY HEALTHY AND FULLFILLING LOVEMAKING TOGETHER. MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN LIVING AWAY FROM HOME FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS WHILE HE ATTENDS COLLEGE. DURING THIS PAST YEAR, HE SECRECTLY BECAME INVOLVED IN VEIWING HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL ON THE INTERNET. SOME OF THE SIGHTS HE VISITED INVOLVED YOUNG GIRLS (EVEN MINORS 14-15YRS OLD). WE BOTH ARE TWICE THE AGE OF THESE GIRLS.
I AM VERY UPSET, AND ALTHOUGH MY HUSBAND TRYS TO REASSURE ME THAT I AM "MORE THAN ENOUGH" FOR HIM, I FEEL HURT AND RESENTFUL THAT HE HAS TURNED TO OTHER WOMEN FOR SEXUAL AROUSAL. IT HAS AFFECTED MY CONFIDENCE. I HAVE LOST RESPECT FOR HIM AND ATTRACTION TO HIM BECAUSE OF THE INTREST HE SEEMS TO HAVE IN GIRLS LESS THAN HALF HIS AGE! WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DAUGHTER, AND I AM VERY CONCERNED WITH HOW FAR HIS INTREST WILL ESCALATE. BEFORE I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS, I NOTICED THAT HE INTRODUCING ACTIVITES INTO OUR LOVEMAKING THAT WAS DEGRADING AND OFFENSIVE. IT WAS ROBBING OUR LOVEMAKING OF THE DIGNITY AND HONOR IT DESERVED. OUR COMMUNICATION IS VERY GOOD, AND HE HAS NEVER BEFORE NOW EXPRESSED A NEED OR DESIRE TO TRY THESE TYPES OF THINGS. MY HUSBANDS HAPINESS AND SATISFACTION ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, BUT NOT AT THE COST OF MY OWN SELFRESPECT AND CONFIDENCE.
YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE..
Dr.Lin: 9/1/1999>
You have idealized him. His behavior is very natural for men. As long as he opens the discussion about what he views, he is a very honest husband.
Don't model lovemaking too. As long as he minds your pleasure, any free styles will be ok!
If you don't like some styles, tell him they cause pain for you. Open your communication to see what he wants, and tell him what you need.
When we were young, my wife always wanted to satisfy my sexual fantasy. After many years of lovemaking, we have continuously continued our sexual exploration. We made love in the wild areas, inside the car while having a trip, in our back yard, in the swimming pool, pool deck, while watching a porn movie, .... and you name it.
She wants me to see beautiful girls on the beach, in the mall..., so that we can have more funs in the evening.
As long as he always want to make love to you and care your sexual pleasure, don't worry and go for it.
The only thing you have to worry is he sees other women.
My wife said satisfying his sexual fantasy with your body can tighten him up.
what do you think?

Reader : 9/2/1999>
"My wife said satifying his sexual fantasy with your body can tighten him up. what do you think? " DR.LIN !! THANK YOU for answering me back. Good advice, but please explain these last two sentences, I do not understand what you mean?? I will be watching my email for your answer. Thank you again
Dr. Lin: 9/3/1999>
If you can not beat him, joint him and share his sexual fantasy. The fact is your can not change him unless he suddenly wake up his mind to realize the way (Tao) of love.
It won't happen until he passes the hill of his life - the sensible decrease of testosterone, about age 40.
Don't scorn his indecent behaviors and sexual fantasy. You have to direct his sexual energy for your own pleasure.
Men like women being wild in the bed to satisfy their fantasies. That is what the pornographic movies for.
Men hardly realize that porn actresses fake sexual responses or moans. He will try to compare you with porn actresses. Most men will have the same behaviors, including myself.
After I watched a few porn movies during 1976-1977, I decided to explore what does the actual orgasm looks or sounds like, in comparing with what the porn movies show. So, we started to record our lovemaking. Then, we found that porn movies fake everything, because orgasm is an "involuntarily" sexual response - out-of-control crying and moaning with extremely heavy breathing at a rate of 0.8 second per cycle, under which condition the woman can not talk or laugh like a regular person. After I discovered the realistically sexual orgasm, I walked out of the sexual fantasy trap. I have liked to enjoy her engorged clitoris and labia and her beautiful, orgasmic face and she has fantasized my powered-up penis, as shown in
http://www.actiontao.com/image/lovetool.jpg
We have realized that our sex organs are more beautiful than the porn actors or actresses'.
So, we have decided to make our love tools engorge/erect every morning - We have sex every morning for 10-20 minutes for this purpose. For so many years, our sexual fantasies are our sexual realities. We use the reality to replace the fantasy. We also use porn movies to enhance our orgasmic responses. No guilty, but more marriage fun.
You have to turn the negative to the positive, and the destructive to the constructive for benefiting your marriage.
You can not use morality to meter Marriage Sex. In fact, Marriage Sex is the Tao of Love. When his testosterone level is too high, resulting in anxiety and anger, have sex with him to drain the excessive testosterone out. In fact, both of you should massage each other's sex organs prior to sleep every night.

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